Jenny Slate speaks “dying for sex” and the complexity of radical friendship

In the course of only eight episodes ,, Die for sex Turn several common cultural tropics upside down. The FX Miniserei stars Jenny Slate and Michelle Williams as Nikki Boyer and Molly Kochan, two best friends who navigate the final diagnosis of the latter metastatic breast cancer. Like the miracle podcast of the same name, on which the show is based (and that real life Molly and Nikki created and organizes in the series), Slates Nikki allows you to get her update relationship and her fragile acting career in the last months of her life around Molly.

“Most of the projects in which I was in one way or another was about a romantic connection,” says Slate W Play nikki in Die for sex. “This relationship was so bound, so deeply intimate and a relationship of true love. But it was in another context, and that was exciting for me.”

As the title suggests, the series is very about sex and especially Molly’s striving. In view of her impending mortality at the age of 45, Molly realizes that her greatest regret in life never has an orgasm with another person. She leaves her dating, but patronized husband (Jay Duplass) to rediscover her sexuality, which has been suppressed since an early childhood incident. The encounters with all types of new partners, kinks and dynamics – she calls back her vitality and power. It is a moving and often very funny journey that, although the spectators know, will eventually end with Molly’s death, so much more alive than other representations of experiences of women with sexuality on the screen.

In addition to the taboo topics of sex and death – which would be a lot of reason for a series to cover them –Die for sex Also immerses in the complexity of care. When Nikki gives up more of her life to be on Molly’s side through her medical appointments, sexual research and healing, she is asked to set more limits by others. The dynamics are reminiscent of a common refrain in our therapy -language culture, which promotes the protection of peace at all costs, even if this means to cut off important relationships. Sometimes this shift can feel like an over -correction for a long history of women Die for sex. Just when it looks like Nikki is taking care of Molly again, she doubles.

“Nikki is not a martyr, and we made sure that moments of” Oh no, I’m doing too much, “says Slate.” You shouldn’t know everything or hold every landing – Nikki knows that. But the more you take part in care with Molly, the more she gets the special energy you have when it is worth it.

Why did the role of Nikki address you?

Nikki is such a raw nerve and a cracker. The way it grows, changes and finds out how to work with her very lively energy was so exciting. The way Liz Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock mapped the story was different from stories that I read before or in which I was able to perform. The entire drive of the piece is about care, how to live and the unique environments in which we can do this, including, as you say in the show, the rather holy time of offense or what goes next.

Have you ever been a caretaker? Do you have what this experience is?

I’ve been a caretaker before, but not for someone my age. I was there when three of my grandparents died, and I had some visceral memories of what it is like to be near the noises and the energy of a person who is actively dying. My family and I are very close and my older sister has been working at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Massachusetts for almost 20 years. So that was all in my life. But the real research that I did was nothing more than the very generous relationship that the real Nikki Boyer shared with me. She told me a lot about how it was for her to be a caregiver and what it feels like to continue mourning Molly’s death and wanting to live her life.

How did you and Michelle close your relationship on and out of the screen?

Before I got the role, I was really nervous because Michelle is actually a giant while I was petite. I’ve always been a big fan and felt my nerves. But Michelle and I just clicked.

There is a lot of physical comedy and closeness between them.

We talked a lot about our body and cleared everything together. “Is it okay if I lay on you?” Or “I’ll press your breasts here, is that okay?” Because there are a few times, Molly finds comfort to press Nikki’s breasts. We were very aware of the physical forms of the other. We just jumped together and Michelle is so brave.

They talked about loss and sexuality in their books and in their comedy specials. Has this series changed your view on both topics?

When filming, I thought a lot about self -definition and how we could hold back. The other that is related and that strangely already written in my book Form of lifeThe first essay “Stonehenge” is the feeling of capturing something and not understanding it until they break out of it. Molly tackles from her restrictive self -definition, and Nikki too. It bursts out of the old definition, not to be up to date, to be a chaos, to be someone who is not a serious person.

The end point of all this change for all these characters is forgiveness. People are afraid of apology as if it wants to forgive someone or themselves that means forgotten. But forgiveness is about truth and growth and free. I love our show for the way it shows different types of forgiveness and how hard and scary it is to achieve it.

Die for sex is named as a career as high. Did you differ from other characters?

The more I am ripe, I try less likely to find out who should be at the center of a story. I only find myself with the area of ​​relationships that should be in every situation. This really helps me as an actor, because all the vanity or cheapness in which you can take part in the previous years of ambition has taken a seat in my consciousness.

I had the privilege of playing some really nice, different characters. I don’t really like Nikki at all – Nikki is a rocky sea and I am a silk person. However, it is important not to assess your character and not try to define it as successful or not successfully, but only to express as clearly as you can, what your life looks like. And that’s a new thing for me – I can understand the complexity in other ways.