How long should children sleep in their parents’ bed? Here’s what Americans think

The bed-sharing debate has long kept parents awake at night, often depending on the child’s particular needs and the family’s circumstances.

Americans are divided on the issue, according to a recent poll. Participants in a survey were asked: Up to what age do you think it is acceptable for children to sleep in the same bed as their parents?

This random double opt-in survey of 1,000 Americans in the general population was commissioned by Newsweek between November 2nd and 6th. It was carried out by market research company Talker Research, whose team members are part of the Market Research Society (MRS) and the European Society for Opinion and Marketing Research (ESOMAR).

The survey results show that a significant proportion of respondents (35 percent) believe it is acceptable for children to sleep with their parents up to the age of three. More specifically, 24 percent said it was fine until the age of three to five.

However, acceptance decreases rapidly as children get older. Only 7 percent of respondents believe co-sleeping is acceptable until ages 6 to 8, and the numbers fall further to 3 percent for ages 9 to 11 and just 1 percent for children ages 12 and older.

These results suggest that there is general agreement among parents that co-sleeping is only appropriate in the first few years of a child’s life and declines significantly as they enter school age.

The data also showed that 18 percent of respondents believe it is never acceptable for children to sleep in their parents’ bed, while 12 percent say there is no specific age at which it is no longer acceptable.

Interestingly, Generation Z (born 1997-2006) and Millennials (born 1981-1996) are relatively open to co-sleeping, with a total of 60 percent saying it is acceptable until ages 3 to 5. The younger generation reported an acceptable average age of around 4.2 years.

In contrast, Generation X (1965-1980) and Baby Boomers (1946-1964) showed more skepticism. While 42 percent of respondents of the generation

The “Silent Generation” (1925–1945) was the least in favor of sleeping together overall. 59 percent said this was never acceptable, reflecting a more traditional attitude toward parenthood and sleep independence.

Newsweek spoke with Dr. Natalie Barnett, the head of sleep research at Nanit – a baby monitor tracking brand – who pointed out the generational gap in bed sharing, with younger generations (Gen Z and Millennials) generally more accepting of child sharing sleep with their parents than older generations.

“This gap likely reflects evolving parenting norms and an increasing openness to diverse family arrangements among younger adults, who may also value a more flexible approach to parenting,” Barnett said.

Bed sharing is far more common in Asian and South Asian cultures, she added.

Barnett also pointed to a number of benefits of bed-sharing, including stronger bonding, easier breastfeeding and better sleep for some families. However, she also pointed out the disadvantages: safety risks, sleep disturbances, possible effects on independence and knock-on effects on parental relationships.

“It is a personal decision and parents should make the decision that is best for their family. However, the evidence for very young children is clear. The risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) is significantly increased in families who are bedridden. Share and I always encourage families to have their toddlers sleep on a separate, clear sleeping surface,” Barnett said.